Quick Write
How would you like someone to work with you on your essay?
Due Today
Rough Draft of Causal Analysis for peer review
Survey
Here is a link to the student survey:
http://chaffey.libsurveys.com/supportFA18
Grading Criteria
- Clarity of Thought. Clearly defined the subject of analysis and the cause/effect that is explored.
- Critical Thinking. Can write reasonably and logically, exploring the causal relationships.
- Appropriate tone and organization for a causal analysis.
- Sources and use of sources to support the analysis with evidence.
- Appropriate title and proper use of visuals.
Images
- The Real Black Death
- Bang, Bang, My Baby Shot Me Down
- The 21st Century Werewolf Monster
- What’s Kraken?
- The Beauty and The Gill Man
Peer Workshop
Peer edit the same way you revise your own work. Work on the global, higher order concerns, first.
Be specific in identifying problems or opportunities. Point to places in the text where you notice something. Don’t say organization is confusing, show them where it is confusing.
Use clear sentences and thoughts when commenting. Don’t just say awkward, explain what it is you find awkward.
Offer suggestions for improvement. Don’t just criticize, offer suggestions for revision.
Praise what is good in the paper. What is working well? What did you like?
Keep comments tactful. Treat another’s work the way you would like yours to be treated.
Quick Write
What changes are you going to make to your essay?
Prejudice
What is prejudice?
Prejudice – preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.
What monster theory can help us better understand prejudice? What one do you see as connected to it?
Why does this matter?
Final Exam
Next class you will have the final exam. An in-class 2-3 page essay.
The changes that I am going to make is to change my tenses and title. Along with getting more sorces for my paper.
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I am going to add some more supporting sources to legitimize my claims about some of the causes and effects that i state in my essay. Also i will be sharpening up my conclusion to wrap up how he my monster became a monster.
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Well my essay isn’t entirely fleshed out to begin with, I need to compile more information, find relevant things to add, cut out irrelevant things, and then compile everything in its entirety. Those who read what i currently have of my essay only had positive comments, so i wont be changing much of the first page.
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Quick Write
I’m gonna make sure that for my essay i’m gonna add more details about the leviathan as a monster itself. I focus so much about the effects and the meaning behind its creation, but i havent really talked about the leviathan itself and I also need to connect it more to the monster theories.
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the changes i need to make on my essay are that i need to add more details and show connections more clear. i have the main points clear but need to show clearer connections. im going to add more quotes and use more clarity
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In my rough drafts, i need to connect it to the monster theory and also explain it in my essay. And also make it a smooth transition from paragraph to paragraph. I also need to add concrete details.
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The changes i will be making to my essay is that I will be adding more detail that will connect to the monster theorys and make sure I use the theorys more then just adding it in at the end. I need to add good images through out the essay that follow what im talking about in each paragraph that helps paint a good image for the readers. Also make sure my title isnt basic and it connects well to my monster.
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The changes that I am going to make in my essay is adding more scholarly sources and having smoother transitions into different paragraphs.
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The changes I made were some grammer issues and adding in the monster theory. Also to include more to my introducion to make it stronger. I can include how the monster effects us today to make it more relatable to today.
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The change I need to make is putting more sources to support my ideas
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A major change I will make to my paper is that I am going to make it more concise and fix grammatical errors.
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Changing up grammar and tone. Expanding more on potential ideas.
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The changes I need to make is focus more on the causes of my monster because there seems like there’s more resources on it, and use more of Cohen’s monster theses.
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I’m going to change a lot in my paper, after my partner nick told me about how I need to be more descriptive and back up about what i’m talking about I think I should spend more time on my research and giving the articles credit when needed. Also, not losing my readers attention when explaining those details.
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I will add more causes of the monster, and be clear with how they fit in to the monster theory.
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a major change that i will make on my paper is the organization. I should make it more structured and free flowing so it doesn’t sound choppy. i need to focus on the thesis as a more causal effect.
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The change i need to make is adding the proper thesis from Cohen’s Monster Theory. I also need to fix some grammatical issues and add a conclusion.
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Some changes I will be making to my essay include expanding on my monsters childhood in more detail so the reader could really get an idea of who he was before he became a monster. Build more context as to what really was the straw that broke the camels back and once he started what made him want to continue it.
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I will include a solid conclusion, more citations and sources, another example of Cohen’s monster theory, and a better/clearer introduction
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The following are the changes that I am going to make:
-Better organize and explain the ideas
-Be more specific of the timeline
-Use monster theories to define a monster
-Improve and add necessary details in the introduction
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I will add in another paragraph before explaining the crime. And will finish up the last paragraphs.
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I need to include the 7 theses and connect the sources with the three effects of my topic.
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major changes is organization, explaining more sentences
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