He had been trying to stop bringing her back, and now here she was. She was here in the postcard. The three words he had been longing would escape from her beautiful mouth, “I love you.” She wrote it, but he wished he could hear her say it. He wished he could hear her say anything. He missed her voice. He missed her.
It has been almost a year since he last saw her, talked to her, touched her. He missed her. She never told her she loved him. He never thought she would feel that way towards him.
But why now?
There was so much going on through his mind. Why would she do this to me? I was trying to leave her behind, and she came back like this. What am I supposed to do? Why did it take her this long to say it? How could she finally love me if she hasn’t made any contact with me?
He didn’t know what he was supposed to feel. He was confused. He had imagined this happening completely different, and it didn’t involve a postcard. He had imagined her being with him, happy and carefree, in his impala on their way to another date she would stare at him at a red light, and he would blush then she would say it “I love you, Park.’’ He loved when she said his name.
He knew then, he would never be able to leave her behind. He still loves her.
“I love you.” she wrote on the postcard and grabbed a stamp from her aunt’s junk drawer. What if it is too late, he’d probably forgotten all about me by now. Would he hate me for it? Would he even believe me? She just sat on her bed and stared at the postcard.
A couple days after she had sent the postcard, she figured he should have gotten it by now and she wanted to call him. She missed him. She didn’t know what she would say. Where would she begin. They hadn’t talked since he dropped her off, and that was almost a year ago.
She still knew his number. She picked up the red rotary phone and began sliding his number across the dial, but when she got to the last number, she froze. He probably moved on already. I haven’t talked to him in a year and he probably gave up on me already. She hung up and put the phone down. She couldn’t do it.
He layed in his bed staring at the picture of her, and he reciting what she wrote in his head. He wanted to imagine her saying it.
It was time for dinner so he went to the kitchen to set up the table.
“Everything okay?” his mom said.
“Yeah I’m fine.” Park answered.
“What came in today?” she asked.
Before Park could answer his dad walked in the room and said “It was a postcard from Eleanor.”
“Your Eleanor?” his mom said. She looked happy. None of them had talked about Eleanor since the month after she had left. They knew it would only upset Park. “What did she say?”
Park sat down after finishing setting the table. Josh and his dad sat down too. His mom was setting the food down on the table. “So?” she said.
Park was still lost in thought, he still couldn’t believe she had finally told him.
“She said she loves him.” his dad said.
“She love him?” his mom said, “Why she love him now and not before? What else she say?”
“That’s it. That’s all she said,” Park finally said, “I miss her, I still love her,” he said in a soft tone.
“Well why don’t you call her?” his dad asked.
“I wish I could but I don’t have her number. I thought she would have called the day I dropped her off, but she never did.” Park said. “What if I go to her? And then I could talk to her and we could…”
“And what Park? Stay out there by yourself? No.” His dad said, shaking his head.
“Please dad I have to see her.” he pleaded.
“Your dad right Park, too dangerous by yourself.” His mom said
“But I went out there before and I was fine. Nothing happened to me.” Park argued.
“Emergency only.” his mom said.
“You can’t go out there Park, you have nowhere to stay. Who knows if her family would let you stay out there, and you don’t even know if they will be there when you arrive.” his dad said.
“But please I’ll risk it. I don’t care.” Park continued to beg.
“The answer is no. Now finish your dinner.” His dad said sternly.
I have to do it. I want him to hear me say it too. I want him to believe me.
She was laying in her bed, remembering the last time he said he loved her. She couldn’t hear him saying it, but she loved the way his mouth shaped every single word. She loved his mouth, and the shape it made when he smiled. She loved his mouth, and the way it felt when it touched hers. She felt tears roll out of her eyes, and down her cheeks. She missed him so much.
The house was quiet. Everyone had been out since the morning. She picked up her phone again. Her stomach began to feel funny, and her heart was pounding. She was nervous.
She began dialing his number again, but this time she was committed to finishing the call. Her hands were shaking and felt clammy. After every number, she could hear her heartbeat louder and faster. She had so many scenarios going through her mind. She could think of what to say.
What if Park didn’t answer? What if it was his mom? I wouldn’t know what to say to her. ‘Hi, Mindy it’s Eleanor, is Park home?’ I don’t think I could bring myself to make small talk with her, I can barely even think about talking to Park.
She got to the last number and heard the call going through. It was ringing.
He finished his dinner and he got ready for work. As he was walking through the kitchen to get to the garage, he heard the phone ring. He waited to see if his mom would come answer, but she was in the living room watching a movie with his dad.
The phone rang again. He answered.
“Hello?” he said.
“Park?” The voice asked from the other side of the receiver.
“Eleanor?” His heart dropped, he froze. He couldn’t believe it. His eyes got cloudy.
“Park, I love you.”