She thought about those three words she wrote, how she couldn’t help but leave tear stains while writing her name at the end. She wondered if park would come in the impala, racing to get to her, or if he forgot about her, simply moved on.
I Love You. Park kept reading those three words in his head until the sun went down. He thought at first that sending that postcard was a way of her saying goodbye for good, but he knew deep down it was something else. It was an Eleanor telling him that their love will have a future. That he won’t have to lay awake at 4 in the morning wondering if there’s more to life without Eleanor’s glowing skin, or her vanilla scenting hair. He fell asleep with the postcard on his chest and a smile he hadn’t made since Eleanor left his life.
As Eleanor was putting on her newly bought jeans, she looked at her hand and how park use to run his finger along her palm; She quickly closed it and went down to the living room where her uncle was waiting.
On her way to school all she could think about was that postcard she sent and whether or not park would send anything in return. It was stupid of her to think that, she ignored everything Park sent her, for all she knows he probably hates her. Then she started thinking about her brothers and sister. How last time she left they wondering why she hadn’t taken them with her. She stopped thinking after she got to school. That’s the only way she managed to not cry during class.
After school that day he ran straight from his bus stop to his house, he thought maybe Eleanor has replied to the letters he sent her, he ran into the house,” MOM did I get anything in the mail?” He looked at her with desperation in his eyes but all his mom did was shake her head no. Park’s mom often worried about park even though he said he was fine, after Eleanor left he stopped wearing eyeliner and went back to how he used to be before her, but Parks mom liked the imprint Eleanor had made on park.
Park decided to write her one last letter in hopes of getting a reply.” Dear Eleanor, when I realized you weren’t going to write back or probably even bother opening up my letters, I tried to turn you into a stranger, but it wasn’t possible. You left me but everything you gave me still remains. Every girl I see just makes me not want to move on even more, because I know I’ll never be able to find someone like you. You lit something up in me that I never knew existed, I thought I loved comic books, I thought I knew what love was. But I’ve never felt a love that feels like a death when its gone. You say you love me….and if you do you’ll meet me at the park when we first hung out outside of school.” He reread the letter making sure it wasn’t too cheesy, Park imagined the disgusted faces Eleanor would be making at the distasteful love remarks. But he knew now that all those reactions were a mask. A mask to hide how she really felt.
She felt exhausted, tired of missing someone she could never have and sick of the aching pain she constantly felt when parks face would appear in her dreams. Not even when she slept could she forget him. It had been a month since she had sent the postcard, and she felt numb now to the fact that Park never replied. It was a reply with in itself, it was Park saying he didn’t want Eleanor and that fed right into her thoughts she always had.
Why hadn’t she written him back, Park thought. If she had sent the postcard with the words, I Love You, when didn’t she reply to his letter. He wondered if those words were actually a goodbye, he could feel his heart piercing with pain at that thought.
After lying in bed for a while, Park decided to range through his mom’s new eye liners she got for a new makeup experiment. He went down to the garage and found an unfamiliar cardboard box labeled, FRAGILE. Park got curious and decided to open it, he wasn’t very amused because he just some saw pots and vases. He was about close the box when he saw something white underneath everything. It couldn’t be, he thought. Park looked at the envelope he gave his mom to mail. Park started crying, not because he was sad but because he was so angry. Angry at his mom for making him hate Eleanor. Running up the stairs taking them two at a time, he went to the kitchen where his mom was. “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? HOW COULD YOU WATCH ME WALK AROUND LIKE A ZOMBIE EVERY DAY BECAUSE I THOUGHT ELEANOR NEVER WANTED TO SEE ME AGAIN.” Parks mom stood there in complete silence.” Park please, I only did it to help you.” Park looked at his mom with pure hatred. Then he walked to the front door and grabbed the keys, without looking back he ran to the car and started it faster than his dad could say stop. He’d never done anything to go against his parents, but when it came to Eleanor there was no line that couldn’t be crossed. Park had only been driving for an hour, when he drifted onto the another side of the road. His last thoughts we’re how amazing it’d feel to hold Eleanor again.
I chose to make the last three words on the postcard Eleanor wrote to be, I Love You. There’s words stood out to me the most because it could’ve been a goodbye or it could’ve been a cry for help. Park was always deeply in love with Eleanor that when he received that postcard, I wanted him to react in a way that anyone who was in love would react, with hope.
Rowell, Rainbow. Eleanor & Park. New York: St. Martin’s Griffin, 2016. Print.