Have you ever fully accepted your responsibilities and your failures? How about trying to manage your time with school and still have a life? That is something we dont get taught throughout high school. Its all trial and error till we realize it is hard, and anyone that has told you otherwise has lied. Let me tell you how I figured this out. Picture this, sitting in a college classroom trying not to watch the clock on the wall. Hard right? The professor walks in, everyone perks ups. Okay, only the ones who are paying for the class with their own money. They’re pretty much the one only ones who will put in extra work since its money out of their own pocket. Or so you think. Now you might begin to wonder what your here for, what is the professor going to except of you, and if anything you learned throughout high school is going to come in handy here in college. My mind began to consume itself with all the possibly scenarios. I had no direction, no motivation, and absolutely no care about school. And to top it off I was one of those people who that had to pay for school out of my own pocket! So you would think I could actually give a crap about being in this classroom. My first go around here at Chaffey was not my best, I failed every class I had. Slowly I stopped showing up, then I stopped doing my homework, and worst part is I kept pretending to go to class because everyone seemed so proud of me. Nobody wants to let anyone down, its a horrible feeling.
Right until I met Professor Borghi, she slapped some sense into me and made me take a step back from reality. Its hard to see the whole picture when you’re not sure what your even looking at. Now here I am again in this college classroom, trying not to stare at the clock on the wall. And to be more specific I was sitting in Mrs. Borghi’s guidance class. Which is where you’ll end up when you screw around and don’t take your education serious. Well that is until you realize you can’t get anywhere with a shit end job and you might actually need that education. The purpose of this class is to get us back on track, to make us realize we have to put in the work to get to our end goal. Nothing good comes easy and i learned that the hard way. At first I felt ashamed of myself. I’m a twenty three, who should have already have a career by now. But instead i’m in this class because I screwed up. I thought by now I would be graduated, just like everybody else my age. But unfortunately I decided to put other things before my education. It wasn’t until I sat in that class that I was able to admit that to myself.
On the first day of class Professor Borghi said something that made me realize its all about trial and error. That was, “When you fail accept it . Suck it up, and make a bigger comeback.” It was the simplest sentence but it had the biggest impact on me and my mind. It has been the smallest and most detailed changes I have had to make to succeed and see a difference in myself, my life, and my education. Firstly, we were required to get a day planner. Instantly I thought, “what a waste of money”. Boy was I wrong! Having to write everything down has been the most helpful factor out of this all. It makes me feel more liable for homework and other commitments I have because i’m taking the time to plan my days. So who wouldn’t commitment to something you took the time out of your day to write down and plan out? It makes me feel guilty when I do end up missing on my calendar.
Another reason why I realized I ended up in the hands of Professor Borghi was because I was not ready for school. I was working full time, going to school, juggling family and a relationship on top of all of that. Which is stressful and extremely hard when one you don’t have a path to follow and two its hard to care when you don’t are at all. I ended up taking a year away from school. I was able to take a step back and accept that fact that I just was not ready to commitment to my education. I was immature, and had money to blow else where. But now being older, I do feel wiser and hold myself accountable for my actions. I also feel that I can manage my time and my priorities so much better now.
Throughout the rest of my education journey and my daily life I promised myself I would not think of myself as a screw up anymore. Or wonder why i’m not further along in my life, I won’t let myself quit again. Everybody has a different pace and a different path. I was fortunate enough to have Professor Borghi put on my pathway and she has taught me so much in so little time. From now on, when I feel overwhelmed, or feel like giving up. I plan on taking a step back and remind myself how I got here and where I want to go. Also I find that if I remind myself why I started ill keep the ball rolling. Being your own fan and our own motivation is going to make me feel so much happier once I achieve my end goal. Because in the end I know I did this for me, and nobody else. Its bitter sweet now that I look at it. It took me to screw up a couple times to learn and understand that shit happens. Its how you comeback from it, is what matters most.