It was April 3, 2017 I had just pulled up to A.B Miller in my old run down 1988 white two door Honda Accord. I put the car in park and quickly gathered my stuff. I looked both ways before running across the street and around the corner, up the back stare well to my class. I walked in, the desks and chairs where arranged in two rows with four columns each, adding a thin space for the next gourd of desks and chairs. I sat in my seat and I started spacing out. I was looking there the blinds trying to see the orange pigmentation that the sun was leaving in the sky. 

  “Here’s your study guide for the final on May 18th. Now take one and pass it back.”

The one moment I have been dreading all year. Once I head my teacher say those words and as soon as I got the thick packet in my hand I felt queasy, light head, and the room was spinning. I only had one thought on my mind that this exam was going to make me or break me. This whole year and everything I had learned it all did not matter if I did not pass this final. I was really starting to feel the pressure, that if I passed it was all worth it but if I did not then it was all a waste of my time and I would be spilling farther away form my dream.

After I claimed myself down and grabbed a hold of the situation my group leader Alejandro assigned everyone in the group, there was six of us, to do a specific part of the packet because he thought it would be a more successful route. Amongst us alone we were not getting any where, these questions were so confusing to understand it was giving me headache. It was like I was reading English but I couldn’t understand what was trying to be asked no matter how many times I reread the question. Turns out I was not the only one that was confused out of mind basically the whole class was because different groups started asking if they get answers to anything yet. Alejandro decided to work as a team and discus our answers together to make sure everyone was on the same page and understanding the material. It was a better way of approaching this giant packet but we did not get much done. Plus being a senior form a different school towards the end of the years our schedule is different from all the other grades, so I would be back in class for a few days, which means I have to finish majority of the packet on my own.

When I got home I had told my that I got my study guide for the final exam. I asked her if she could help me study because she works in the medical field and I could use her knowledge which is beneficial to me. She gladly offered to help me. I said,

“Great just give me a minute to get my stuff.”

I handed my mother this large packet and a thick stack of flash cards. I told her,

“I made flash cards for the packet so I can write the correct answers in the packet and know exactly wha to study.”

She said, “Let’s get started”

Before she could start reading off the cards I told, “Mix the cards up so I don’t know what order they’re in.” Because I had them color coordinated based the categories in the packet.

My mother then split the colorful flash cards and began to shuffle them as if we were in Las Vegas and she was dealing out cards for high rollers playing poker. Then she started to read off the cards and I was getting a lot of the answers correct, until she started reading the material form the being of the year and I did not remember much. I knew the answer it was on the top of my head but it was like a cat got my tongue. I started mixing up my answers and getting them wrong. I was so confused and worried that I had forgotten things I learned. I felt so discouraged and stressed out over me and if I was going to remember everything.

Then my mother told me, “Don’t worry you’re intelligent and I’m sure if you just review the thing you forget a little more you’ll remember them for the exam and you’ll be fine.”

I agreed with her and said, “ Yah you’re right, I’m probably just over reacting.”

I was still afraid though, that I was not going to pass, am I going to forget everything last minute. Then this thought popped into my head, ‘You can’t let them down. The people that recommended you and your family.’ As if the pressure was not enough now I have this riding on my conscious.

I decided to take a break, try to clear my head a little and just relax. I went up to the roof with a blanket, laid it down, sat and tried to get comfortable, and just focused on the sky and the sounds around me. I felt at ease and peaceful like I was a jellyfish letting the current take me where it pleased. By the time I came down from the roof it was late and I was extremely tired, I put my stuff away and went to bed.

The few weeks past by and it was one of our last days on campus with the rest of the other grades. I had already taken the finals in my other classes so it was just a free period. I took this opportunity to study more with my other group members, thought the day I had two in my other classes. We pretty much had the packet completed with an exception to one or two questions. My classmates and I decided to review our answers together and explain to one other how we came to that conclusion if one of us still not quite getting the answer. 

Later on that day I found out that seventh period got canceled. I ended up just going home and studying even more to make sure I was prepared as I could ever be. My mother got home a little after me, so I had her help me again. This time as she was reading the flash cards, she was mumbling her words and her to keep rereading the questions. I thought it was because my writing got sloppy and she couldn’t read my writing anymore.

Then she utters, “What?” Under her breath. I guess so I could not hear her. 

I told my mother, “Let me see what I wrote down.” While holding my hand out waiting for her to hand me the card.

She lend back and said, “No! I just do not know what it is. I’m trying to figure the answer out before you give me the answer”

At then moment I realized that the medical field is always changing and eventually I will have to go back to school and study some method that has changed to better server the community. I kind of already know that doctors have to go back to school every so many years but it didn’t really sink in that it is not just doctors, nurses, and teachers as well.

The one day I have been dreading all year has arrived. I was walking up the back stare well while review my flash cards for the last time. I never looked up to see where I was going because I walked this path so many time I could do it blind folded. Although I had to stop and look up to grab the door. I walked to my seat and sat down still reviewing my cards but now I am rushing a little bit. I know I was prepared to take the test but I couldn’t overcome this nausea feeling. I was so nervous because at this moment, this exam, will determine if life or death.

My teacher had entered the classroom and everyone became silent almost instantly. She said, “Okay everyone please put your study guides away, the only thing you can have on your desk is a calculator, a pencil, and a starch piece of paper.” Then she started passing out the final exam.

I was handed a green packet only about three pages long front and back. It was still warm from barely being printed. I start reading the first question and it seemed easy. Then I quickly scanned the rest of the test and I realized I had nothing to worry about the test version I had was fairly simple with only some questions that I had to think twice about, but that took a huge weight off of my shoulders. I took my time answering every question, double checking and making sure everything was answered and I was okay with my answers. Surprisingly I was one of the first people done.

I turned in my final exam and my teacher whispered, “I am going to be graded the exams and posting the scores. You can check Q connect later on tonight.”

I had nodded my head up and down in reply. I was so eager to know my scores that I kept logging into Q and refreshing the page, but nothing was there. I checked again around seven o’clock that night and my score was in I got an eighty-six point five percent on my final exam. There was a huge sigh of relief as soon as I saw that number I felt just like a bird as free as I could ever be, and I thought to myself, ‘I can continue living now as a Certified Medical Assistant.’