Having to raise a baby at 19 years old is really not so easy. Surely your mother instincts do kick in naturally once you give birth. At least they did for me, but I was indeed lucky and blessed enough to have my mother by my side and to guide me till this day. There are some things that I would have never known of if it were not for my mom. Eating certain foods that were good or bad for the baby, what remedies to give her when she was sick or not feeling well, how to discipline my child and most importantly how to give love and affection to my daughter.
Being a pregnant teen was something that was really hard for me to go through, thankfully I had my amazing mother be by my side every step of the way. It is not like I had a choice by the way. My mom is a mexican mom so you know that this lady took such good care of me in any way possible. I was so spoiled, she would text me and ask me for my cravings and sure enough make me the dish I was craving. I would say I want “fresas con crema” and she would take me to go get them. Do not get me wrong, some cravings she would not let me have if it was not good for the baby, hot cheetos or anything spicy. Sometimes I would get away with it though but only because she would give me a pass.
After I gave birth to my beautiful daughter, of course my mother was there for me.. Due to c section I had to stay at the hospital for 4 days, and every day she would come see me and bring me food. I remember she taught me how to wrap my daughter like a burrito so she would waddle and scare herself in her sleep and wake up. When I was discharged they do not give me a handbook on how to be a mom so I was a little nervous going home, but my mom was there with me every single day and took care of me. Since I had the c section and helped me with the baby and house chores. There was this time when the baby would not stop crying and I swear I would try to feed her and no she was not hungry, I would check her diaper and no she did have a dirty diaper. So I eventually freaked out. I did not want to go to my mom for help because I felt as a mother I should know what is wrong with my child, but then again I was a first time mommy. I gave in and called my mom and told her what was wrong, she asked me “what did you have to eat today?” and I told her all I had to eat and it was indeed what I had eaten. At first I did not understand why she was questioning me what I have eaten, but since I was breastfeeding I was passing everything to her and caused her to get bloated. My mom told me to massage her tummy and after I did she passed gas and the crying had stopped. I could have not known that without my mom. My daughter was growing and growing so fast every single day. She learned how to crawl and before I blinked she was already up and running. There were times when she would get sick and I knew that if I called my mom that she would pick up the phone and give me a remedy to give to her and trust me mexican remedies always work.
Eventually my daughter was diagnosed with the terrible twos, and believe me the terrible twos is a real thing. I had to learn how to discipline my child. Me growing up with a mexican mother I had to learn the hard way. I do not know what it is with grandmas but they get mad at you when you try to discipline their grandchild. My mom is a superhero to my daughter but only when it comes down to her getting in trouble. I tell my mom “you would hit me with the belt and you’re getting mad at me for telling her she has to go on time out?”. My daughter luckily got over that stage and now is a well behaved girl, I call her a tiny adult.
While growing up with single mother who had to work all the time to support her 3 kids, I really never got to spend a lot of time with my mom doing holiday stuff like baking cookies for santa, but she made sure we were bathed, fed, cleaned all the time and most importantly made sure we always had a roof over our head. I never held any of that against my mom because I knew she had to do what she had to do for us. Though I have no traditional holiday activities with my mom, This has also taught me to do fun holiday activities with my daughter so she can have these lovely memories. Every holiday she has an outfit, I make her an easter basket, we go to the pumpkin patch get a pumpkin and carve it, make cookies for santa and build a gingerbread house.
One of most important thing that I learned from my mother is how to give affectionate love to my daughter. My mom is the type to be calling and texting her kids, asking how they are and telling them how much she loves us. I always hug and squeeze my daughter and tell her that I love her very much You can tell that she thinks about us when she goes to the store because she will get us our favorite candy without asking, even though we are grown. I do the same with my daughter. When I go grocery shopping and I make sure I grab her some m&ms before checking out even though she makes me promise her to bring her something back before I leave.
My mom has always told me that being a mother will always come first, I am very thankful for my mom because she has been my greatest sponsor. She has taught me so much in life but most importantly she has taught me how to be a mother. There are some things that I say and catch myself and think “ oh God, I sound just like my mother.” I am a reflection of her and I hope to teach my daughter how to be a mom someday too.