When I was in school I would be that person that was always alone, but in third grade, I met a girl named Brianna who would soon become my first friend. Brianna soon lost her friends because they didn’t like me. Whenever I saw this happen I would practically beg Brianna to be with them and not me, that way she won’t be a loner, but every time I did she would just smile and say, “Don’t worry about it they aren’t real friends.”

By the time I was in 7th grade I had to move from Victorville to Rancho Cucamonga because my dad worked as a real estate agent. I promised Brianna the day I left that I will meet her again but in the summer of that same year she stopped messaging me. At first, I didn’t give it much thought so I carried on with my life. One day my dad decided to visit Brianna’s home to talk with her dad which meant I got to tag along. When we got there, however, the only person there was Brianna’s dad, which to my surprise he was in tears when he saw me. He then explained to my dad that his wife and Brianna were both killed in a car accident.antcrash1On the way back to Rancho Cucamonga I couldn’t help but mourn over my now dead friend. My seventh and eighth-grade years were hell and I was literally on the brink of suicide. Not only was I missing Brianna but I was also being bullied. There would be days when I would come home with bruises, scratches, or with a bloody nose that would last for about an hour. To top things off with a nice cherry on the top, I was also being cyberbullied. There was a photo of me that was shared to pretty much everyone on campus which read, “Go back to Mexico.” Soon after that, the fights that I would find myself in would begin to increase. One day at the end of my eighth grade year when I was leaving the locker room I heard some type of banging sound which was odd because I was the only person there, at least that’s what I thought. I decided to investigate the banging sound and to my surprise, one of the students who bullied me was breaking into my locker. Once the lock broke he started to steal everything I had which was the last straw. I decided to grab him and throw him to the floor, which led me to stomp on him. The school would always turn a blind eye to this student and never actually did anything to stop him from bullying me so I took matters into my own hands.

In my Freshman year of high school, everyone stopped bullying me which was a huge relief on my side. My sister, who at the time was a junior, introduced me to her friends all of which became close friends to me. They always seemed to be in a good mood and there was never a dull moment with them. We would have days when we would watch a movie at Edwards or just have a private party. It seemed that things were finally starting to look out for me but in the back of my head, I would always be thinking about Brianna.12646713_10208193910062806_824792624290485141_o One thing that helped me get my mind off things was my car which I still drive today. I own a 2006 Mustang, which granted, it’s not a new car but I treasure it. Whenever I’m feeling down I’ll go for a nice long drive with the top down and my favorite bands playing, or ill just mod the car which leads me to spend more than I should. Doing those two things however helps me get my mind off of things like Brianna. In my P.E. class, I met a guy named Kootak which translates to Logan in English. Logan is a Korean transfer student which at the time he didn’t know that much English. He and I soon became friends and I taught him as much English as I could. Along with teaching Logan English, I told him about my past which was surprisingly not that hard to talk about. The funny part about me meeting Logan is that he soon became one of the most popular and smartest students on the campus. Later on in the year, a student named Amanda transferred over to my class for physical education and when I first saw her she led me to tears. Amanda’s resemblance to Brianna was astonishing close, to say the least. I approached Amanda, and like the idiot I was, I called her Brianna. I soon befriended Amanda but I tried not to get too close to her which failed miserably. Along with meeting Amanda, I met a guy named DeAnthony which in my opinion is the most independent person I know that’s my age. In a lot of ways, he was like me and he soon became my best friend to this day. By the time I was a Junior in Highschool all of my friends have graduated except for Amanda, Logan, and DeAnthony. Two years later, on the day I graduated Highschool, however, I was pretty much in tears again because Amanda would be transferring over to Utah. I continued to ask myself the same question over and over again which is, “why does everyone I care about always leave me?” Of course, she is only transferring which meant I was able to see her again which I did. To my surprise, Amanda now has a boyfriend which, not going to lie I was a bit jealous but hey I’m happy if she is happy. By the end of the day as long as I have someone to call a friend there won’t be any obstacle in my path.

I came to the conclusion that the reason I didn’t kill myself after Brianna’s death is simply that if she was still alive I doubt that is what she would want. If I don’t see Amanda anymore then I’ll treasure my memories with her as a way to never forget her. I’m glad that I at least met people like Amanda and Brianna. I’ve always been a loner and I don’t really have a problem with it but being with a group of friends is always better than being alone. In this world the only thing that matters are having relationships whether they are with friends or with your significant other.bigstock-family-silhouette-6935625-557x600